Nurse Marvin

I'm posting this from Jen's house. It turns out that Jen is just ill, but she is really very ill.

After she sent me the text, I phoned her back and she said she was at home and needed help. She sounded awful. When I got to her house she didn't answer the doorbell, so I found her spare key in the back garden and let myself in through the front door.
The downstairs was a mess and hadn't been cleaned up since the party last week. There was no sign of Jen, so I went upstairs and found her asleep in bed.

She had a raging temperature and when she awoke seemed really lethargic and woozy. I said I'd call the doctor, but she wouldn't let me. She just kept saying "No doctors." I'm pretty sure Wiccan's aren't against medicine or anything like that, so I don't understand why I can't get her some help.


At first I did entertain the idea that the pretentious pillock might have poisoned her, but unfortunately I don't think that's the case. Also I've checked for bite marks on her neck, but I can't see any. I think it's probably just flu. She was delirious at one point and kept going on about all sorts of Wiccan stuff that I didn't understand, about people being out to get her and bad magic.

She was really dehydrated and has been living off Tizer and Hobnobs for the last week. So I'm being Nurse Marvin and making her drink lots of Lucozade now. I also made her some chicken soup but she was sick after that. It was a bit like that scene from the Exorcist.

She didn't want me to leave last night, so I phoned home and said I was staying at Steve's. Funny, I'd always imagined that the first time I stayed the night at a girl's house it would involve less sofa and more stockings. Maybe that's just lack of experience.

That was yesterday, and today she seems a bit better, but not much. Her temperature is still really high and paracetamol won't bring it down. She looks really pale, even paler than usual.

I phoned NHS direct (using the fake name Merlando Elderberry to keep Jen happy), and they said to call out the doctor straight away. Jen just gave me that look and muttered "No doctors" again.


I can tell she is really ill though because she has not shouted at me the whole time I've been there and also because she isn't bothered that all she is wearing is a baggy tee-shirt. Usually she isn't even comfortable with me being present when she is wearing her sensible over-sized pajamas, which I always found quite amusing; it's not like I've never seen a picture of a scantily clad lady before! I'm firmly of the opinion that in any (even platonic) boy-girl relationship (like mine and Jen's) it's far better to get the whole being naked thing over and done with as soon as possible - straight away if practical. That way the whole issue is out of the way and everyone can relax and move on. It's notable that that none of the girls I know share the same attitude.


I've been at Jen's all day today, but she has been asleep a lot of the time. I don't know whether I should go home tonight, it being college tomorrow. I'm feeling quite happy even though Jen is Ill. At least she is talking to me again and the pretentious pillock seems to be long gone. Jen even said she didn't know what she would do without me! I think she must have been delirious again.


I hope she is on the mend by tomorrow or I don't know what I'll do. I might have to call out the doctor whether Jen wants me to or not.