Princess Jen

It turns out that Jen is a Princess from a planet somewhere south of Alpha Centuri!

I knew it!

Moonchild has been Investigating. At Halloween Mad Vlad said that Diane was lying in St Ann's. At first we all thought the worst but Moonchild found out that St Ann's is a hospital in Edinburgh. It's also a college in Oxford and a Cathedral in Belfast, but none of those have been looking after a grumpy old witch with total amnesia. The hospital said that she was found in Holyrood Park arguing with a tree and holding documents identifying her as someone called Doris Stikes. Moonchild has taken her home now and is looking after her but Diane has no idea who or where she is.

As usual Jen and Moonchild kept going off into the kitchen to discuss what was going on and said they were expecting a precis of the current Deep Space Nine episode when they got back.

I've got wise to that trick now and was a bit cross that they were trying it on again after everything that has gone on. So I pointed out, in my most commanding Luke Skywalkery voice, that if I was going to have to stand up to Mad Vlad and get my typing finger crumpled and my nose squashed, then they'd damn well better start letting me know what it was All About. I didn't say "Damn" obviously, not to Moonchild, but I did put my hands on my hips and gave Jen a Really Hard Stare. I think that is what made her capitulate in the end. She took me off to one side and Told Me Everything.

At the beginning of the last galactic cycle Jen and her parents were the leaders of a resistance army fighting against an Evil Vampire Space Federation! Jen's mum and dad are really the king and queen of a whole space republic but were forced into exile by a dark space overlord of whom Daniel and Mad Vlad are only minor vassals.

Jen is hiding on Earth while her parents are busy leading the galactic resistance, but now Mad Vlad has tracked her down. Luckily his interstellar communicator is broken but he only needs a drop of Jen's blood to fix it when he will summon a whole fleet of vampire star destroyers to subjugate the Earth and imprison Jen.

I knew that Jen wasn't like other Earth Girls. She's Too Hot. Also her aversion to wearing stockings and sexy lingerie should have been a dead giveaway. As far as I can tell most Earth Girls wear stocking pretty much most of the time.

Jen has always said that I'm just like a big brother that she never knew she had. Actually she says I'm like a little brother that she never knew she had, but you can tell she's really confused because actually I'm more like a rogue smuggler space pilot that she's never had.